Day 14 (a little bit early in case I don't get to it tomorrow: on being unavailable

So as I sank into my practice, sometimes I was unavailable. The grace of spirit, for me, is partly trusting that even when people I love feel disappointment because I'm not available for them in the ways they hope for, they will hear me when I'm transparent with them about what I can and can't offer. During the poetry practice I learned I didn't always have to say why I wasn't available. I could just say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm busy tonight." And that was that. I let them take care of their reaction, and I took care of my commitment to the practice. A novel experience for the parts that want to take care of everyone.

Day 13: You can't outrun your shadow

The hope that I can "talk myself out of" my darker feelings stems from fear in me. During the practice I realized there was so much richness in what I feared, if I could just stop running from it and turn to see its contours.

Day 12: All of our stories are connected

I find that when I write a poem about my take on someone else's life, embedded in the lines is a truth about my own story. I think we're like spider webs, when a fly lands on one strand, all the others shimmy.

Day 11: You can over milk the cow until nothing flows

It's really freeing to just do something without over-working it in hopes of "perfecting" it. In the past I rewrote poems until they truly dried up, lost all their juice. This time, the practice required me to stick to a deadline, a time when I had to "come in" from being "outside in the day." Like calling a kid in from playing kick the can. A definite end to playing with the poem, a definite "ok just post it." I came to love that aspect of "the practice." I bet other art forms have this same thing: that when you "keep at it" too long, you actually lose the "wisdom" or "impact".

Day 10: Three small lines can still be healing

Day 10 reflection on the practice of 40 poems in 40 days. Even though I can't do it all, I can do one small thing rather than a bigger thing. And it can still hold meaning For example: when i feel stuck working on a longer poem, when it just isn't flowing, I can write ...a haiku. Three small lines can still be healing.

Day 9: Just Begin

More time, energy, inspiration, all those things I thought I needed in order to write a poem. I didn't really need them at all. What I needed was to begin. Just to begin. To start putting one word in front of another. Whether I "...felt it" or not. Wonder if that might be true of other areas in life as well?

When you get sick of yourself: day 8

It helps to remember it isn't all about you.

Day 7: Iphones are difficult

Another learning: sometimes it helps to simply slow down and listen to the wind before you take your next step.

Day 6: It's easier to love when we can see ourselves clearly

So one thing I noticed as I committed to "40 days of practice" was the way my heart opened to people with whom I'd had hurtful relationships, as I spoke for the truth with in me. I noticed how the poems became more and more about my inner world, and less and less about other people. Interesting...think I'll remember to "listen within" more often.

Day 5: Sometimes you can't do it all

Sometimes you can't do it all:

I try and am exhausted. I fear hurting others if I don't "do it all." Writing a poem a day meant I couldn't "do it all." My husband comes home to encrusted plates and snaps at me. I keep writing. He doesn't leave. We both live and even hug later that night. When I let go of the fear of disappointing others (and the underlying fear of abandonment)I'm more authentic, more focused, more transparent, and in the end, more connected. Does this ring true to you?

Day 4: Spring Fever

Wrote a poem yesterday to help me loosen up from all the voices in me that want to "be sure I get it right" Allowed the poem to be included in "worked on the book every day for 40 days."

Spring Fever

You have been the teacher
unwilling to release me as you
follow broken stone pathways
into your garden rich with flowers
whose precise and common names
you love to pour off your educated tongue,
like larkspur, honeysuckle, iris.
Today a stormy wind blew open
your peeling picket gate
and I crossed open fields
mossy unkempt knolls,
dug bare toes into rich foliage beneath the forest firs,
knelt down before a small wild orchid
the petite purple slipper hanging head down
a harbinger of transformation
beckoning my Cinderella finger
to lift it tenderly
to the light

Day 3: We're all afraid of being seen

I just think this is true. And it certainly showed up as I wrote 40 poems for 40 days. How often, when I explored various responses I had to posts people made about my poems, it came down to fear. Fear of "not being good enough" and of "being seen and not really seen." Something like that anyway. This is what I'm writing about in my book right now. In my own way.

Day 2

So far so good. Day number two and I've spent time writing the book. As I wrote, I uncovered and explored what I imagine will be the first of 40 learnings from the practice of 40 poems in 40 days:


It’s easier to take a risk within a community of support.

the first day

So I'm working on the book: 40 days....the practice

It's the story of how I came to post 40 poems in 40 days interspersed with poems that I wrote during the 40 days. We'll see how it goes...