Day 26: Forcing yourself never works

Trying to pen exactly 1 poem for each day, I got stuck. frustrated. But then an internal window flew open: oh yeah, I'd said "40 poems in 40 days." The memory of choice blew in. Said "Follow your rhythm. Maybe none today, maybe three tomorrow." Ah, yes, Freedom. Joy. Celebration in the lightness of the holding.

Day 25: Permission to take a break

I'm breathing tonight, taking a break and in the permission to take a break, I'm posting. Interesting conundrum... ah, life, we take it in and we let it out. our hopes, our tears, our joys, our fears, all entwined, all divine...

Day 24: The stronger my attachment to my creations

the more rigid the edges, the less fluid the substance, the more cloudy the core.

Day 23: The walls we encounter are quite often of our own making

no doubt useful in our past, it is good, now, to listen to their stories, and help them to change form, so that they can herald creation rather than protect vulnerability.

Day 22: There is joy in letting go

At first I had to shut my eyes when I clicked Share after posting a poem. Soon, I felt a release of tension, a lilt of joy after I'd composed and then released them to be read...or not read. To be commented on...or not. Ever feel anything like this in your world?

Day 21: Relying on "help" can really be a block to creativity

So often during the writing of the poetry blog I kept thinking I needed someone to "give me feedback" or "help me" to write better. And thinking that only made the writing get stuck. When I let go of that, and just sank into the writing, words flowed. Does that ever happen to you? That you get stuck when you're courting "feedback?"

Day 20: It helps to have visitors

So before my blog, I wrote poetry in isolation. Worked and reworked and tried to perfect my words before I showed them to anyone. Knowing people would visit my poems on my blog helped me keep going. For me, creating with the knowledge that others were cheering me on, or at least stopping by my poem pages, was a real gift. Curious how that is for others when you do something creative. Different from a show or a recital, I'm speaking here more about a sense of the presence of supportive others in the "forming of" rather than showing a finished project.

Day 19: People see things in you that you often don’t see in yourself

Yes, this is true for me. For others?

Day 18: So I skipped yesterday

I suppose another learning was to just be with the parts of me that are convinced I have nothing worthwhile to say. I suspect others, too, have these voices inside, and have learned ways to welcome rather than exile them. Would be interested to hear about that.

Day 17: Fatigue may be an ally

Before I entered into the practice, I fought fatigue. Believed it was weakness. Or I gave into it fully, let it flood me. So that I just laid around. It turned out fatigue could be incredibly helpful. Could bring insight and nuance. Sometimes fatigue allowed me to sense into a poem without trying so hard to "figure it out." I know they say being sleep-deprived is unhealthy, but maybe fatigue is different from that, maybe when we cozy up to it without letting it take us over, it is our ally.

Day 16: You can keep in touch through small overtures to others

I like that my practice included some way to connect with others. Before posting poems, I often thought about people I cared about, but felt overwhelmed by the idea of trying to stay in touch. This 40 day practice, because I committed to it publicly and shared the results, allowed me to expand relationships that I valued but hadn't managed to make time for. I also even made new "friends" in the process as others shared my poems with people they cared about. Now I value the idea of a "practice" that somehow links the "Practitioner" to others.

Day 15: No I Won't

Sometimes you just have to shout, “No, I won’t!”

To tap into the abundance that fueled my daily practice, sometimes I just needed to shout “I’m NOT going to do this.” Once I heard that voice and really felt how unable to dive back into the writing that part of me felt, things shifted inside. Space for rebellion itself seemed to lead me toward getting ready to write again. I think this happens in many instances where people feel stuck, trapped and pressured. So partly why I like the commitment to some form of daily practice is it seems focus and enhance the transition from stuck to fluid.

Day 14 (a little bit early in case I don't get to it tomorrow: on being unavailable

So as I sank into my practice, sometimes I was unavailable. The grace of spirit, for me, is partly trusting that even when people I love feel disappointment because I'm not available for them in the ways they hope for, they will hear me when I'm transparent with them about what I can and can't offer. During the poetry practice I learned I didn't always have to say why I wasn't available. I could just say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm busy tonight." And that was that. I let them take care of their reaction, and I took care of my commitment to the practice. A novel experience for the parts that want to take care of everyone.

Day 13: You can't outrun your shadow

The hope that I can "talk myself out of" my darker feelings stems from fear in me. During the practice I realized there was so much richness in what I feared, if I could just stop running from it and turn to see its contours.

Day 12: All of our stories are connected

I find that when I write a poem about my take on someone else's life, embedded in the lines is a truth about my own story. I think we're like spider webs, when a fly lands on one strand, all the others shimmy.

Day 11: You can over milk the cow until nothing flows

It's really freeing to just do something without over-working it in hopes of "perfecting" it. In the past I rewrote poems until they truly dried up, lost all their juice. This time, the practice required me to stick to a deadline, a time when I had to "come in" from being "outside in the day." Like calling a kid in from playing kick the can. A definite end to playing with the poem, a definite "ok just post it." I came to love that aspect of "the practice." I bet other art forms have this same thing: that when you "keep at it" too long, you actually lose the "wisdom" or "impact".

Day 10: Three small lines can still be healing

Day 10 reflection on the practice of 40 poems in 40 days. Even though I can't do it all, I can do one small thing rather than a bigger thing. And it can still hold meaning For example: when i feel stuck working on a longer poem, when it just isn't flowing, I can write ...a haiku. Three small lines can still be healing.

Day 9: Just Begin

More time, energy, inspiration, all those things I thought I needed in order to write a poem. I didn't really need them at all. What I needed was to begin. Just to begin. To start putting one word in front of another. Whether I "...felt it" or not. Wonder if that might be true of other areas in life as well?

When you get sick of yourself: day 8

It helps to remember it isn't all about you.

Day 7: Iphones are difficult

Another learning: sometimes it helps to simply slow down and listen to the wind before you take your next step.

Day 6: It's easier to love when we can see ourselves clearly

So one thing I noticed as I committed to "40 days of practice" was the way my heart opened to people with whom I'd had hurtful relationships, as I spoke for the truth with in me. I noticed how the poems became more and more about my inner world, and less and less about other people. Interesting...think I'll remember to "listen within" more often.

Day 5: Sometimes you can't do it all

Sometimes you can't do it all:

I try and am exhausted. I fear hurting others if I don't "do it all." Writing a poem a day meant I couldn't "do it all." My husband comes home to encrusted plates and snaps at me. I keep writing. He doesn't leave. We both live and even hug later that night. When I let go of the fear of disappointing others (and the underlying fear of abandonment)I'm more authentic, more focused, more transparent, and in the end, more connected. Does this ring true to you?

Day 4: Spring Fever

Wrote a poem yesterday to help me loosen up from all the voices in me that want to "be sure I get it right" Allowed the poem to be included in "worked on the book every day for 40 days."

Spring Fever

You have been the teacher
unwilling to release me as you
follow broken stone pathways
into your garden rich with flowers
whose precise and common names
you love to pour off your educated tongue,
like larkspur, honeysuckle, iris.
Today a stormy wind blew open
your peeling picket gate
and I crossed open fields
mossy unkempt knolls,
dug bare toes into rich foliage beneath the forest firs,
knelt down before a small wild orchid
the petite purple slipper hanging head down
a harbinger of transformation
beckoning my Cinderella finger
to lift it tenderly
to the light

Day 3: We're all afraid of being seen

I just think this is true. And it certainly showed up as I wrote 40 poems for 40 days. How often, when I explored various responses I had to posts people made about my poems, it came down to fear. Fear of "not being good enough" and of "being seen and not really seen." Something like that anyway. This is what I'm writing about in my book right now. In my own way.

Day 2

So far so good. Day number two and I've spent time writing the book. As I wrote, I uncovered and explored what I imagine will be the first of 40 learnings from the practice of 40 poems in 40 days:


It’s easier to take a risk within a community of support.

the first day

So I'm working on the book: 40 days....the practice

It's the story of how I came to post 40 poems in 40 days interspersed with poems that I wrote during the 40 days. We'll see how it goes...